Car Crash Heart

Last night, my wife was involved in a car accident. She’s fine. Just bruised and shaken. The other driver I know little about other than the fact that she got out of the car on her own volition and opted to be transported to the hospital. I was nowhere to be found. Actually I was at home waiting for her to return when she called me to tell me “We don’t have the Scion anymore I crashed it. Can you come pick me up…”

Best I can surmise from her is that the cop says it was her fault. She T-boned someone at an intersection. She swears she had a green arrow after being at the intersection at a red light.

 I showed up just in time to have the tow truck cart away our vehicle. My wife refuses to let me touch her because she feels so terrible that she totaled her car, sent some poor woman to the hospital, and now we have to pay out the wazoo for insurance deductibles.

I’m at a complete loss. On the one hand I wanna hold her and tell her everything will be okay. After all, she’s not hurt (sans the bruises to her knee, chest, and ego). We HAVE auto insurance. On the other hand, I’m so frustrated that we already pay more than half our income to student loans and were already not going to be able to make payments this month. I need a good cry and a strong drink but she needs me to be strong for her.

Sometimes I wish I were a woman. Then I’d be EXPECTED to cry and not be strong for her. Instead I have to pretend it’s going to be okay and that we won’t have to put off …I don’t know… LIVING.

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