That’s right. Lets go there.

If you’re like me, you’ve walked in on your girl friend or wife watching Pride and Prejudice. And if you’re still like me, you turned and walked right back from which you came when you realized it was on. You can tell it’s P & P from the squealing and/or the tissues strewn about. If there’s a gaggle of women, they’re likely holding hands and drinking wine. RUN WHILE YOU STILL HAVE YOUR SANITY! That or they’re watching Love Actually. But my better half reads the book constantly enough to quote the poor bugger. Since it’s a classic, and it was sitting around the house, and I’d run out of every other book in the universe to read, I picked it up.

If you’re a dude and reading this: stick with me. If you’re a chick: turn your head as if this is the um-teeth time your boy is watching Star Wars.

Truth be told, I started with irritation. Long sentences. Language that I could hardly keep up with. Words I had to look up like “countenence.” But I pushed through. Then, about 1/3 the way through, I started to change my mind. Here’s why.

First, it starts to make sense.

Second, the snarky bits. The main character, Elizabeth Bennett, is a snarky little prejudiced person. She shoots down everyone for being they stupid people they are. What’s better, her father, Mr. Bennett does the same and actually invites particular men over to the house to listen to their idiocy.

Third, the pride. Not the pride that Mr. Darcy has, though he’s a jerk for most of the book. I’m talking the pride that comes from having read and SAYING you’ve read this “chick book.”

Forth, brownie points. That’s right. You start rattling off quotes from Pride and Prejudice and women will swoon. Use those quotes correctly and go home with the prom queen.

Fifth, it’s just well written. Yup. You learn a lot about the time period, the social etiquette, the way the social system worked to completely screw women over from start to finish. Really! The whole reason for the story is that if Mr. Bennett (daddy) dies, the farm doesn’t go to the wife, the daughters, oh no! It goes to Mr. Bennett’s nephew! (Nephew right? Too damn many people’s like reading a Russian novel). So, Mrs. Bennett is racing to get her daughters married before her husband kicks it (a WONDER why he was a grumpy dick).

Also, as all this is happening, the girls are tossed around all Hot Potato like as they play show dog to find a rich hubby. Welcome to slavery for white people. And, when a guy and girl run off together, it’s the girl who’s seen as a harpy. The guy gets money and a young wife out of the deal. Even the jerks get a winning hand as long as they have a penis.

CONCLUSION: Just do it! Read the thing. It’s worth it on a number of levels. Most of which are self-satisfying. Some are external.