When I’m not Writing: I Shoot…Sometimes

OK. Only twice in my life.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not one for violence. Actually, I loathe violence. But guns themselves are not violent. They just break things. I don’t own one, and can’t image ever purchasing one. But when my friends let me shoot theirs, I get all a tingle in my loins.

Hell, a solid AK-47 even makes me look sexy. I’m sure the stance is off, but get this! I didn’t hurt myself (sans a cut on my thumb knuckle from the safety) and I didn’t hurt anyone else.

The pistol? Not sure. It’s a pistol. And if my instructions stayed anywhere near my frontal lobe, it fires 22’s.

The AK? Holy Mother Monkey Teaser! The kick is a little much but not terrible. It’s tougher to hold up long enough to aim and fire off 20 rounds. My arms are sore. The awesomest part? Rather than a gun that just makes lots of noise and can make things go BANG from far away, this does all that and includes a MASSIVE FIREBALL that erupts from the front of the gun!

It’s like an erection AND an orgasm! I can see how people could be stupid with such weapons. Both times I’ve fired these beasts, I go home with lingering urges to punch puppies, grunt over power tools, and any other manly thing I can think of and dozens of things I can’t think of.

For the record, most of the shells at my feet were not from me! FYI

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